Jameela Jamil is continuing her streak of saying amazing things—and not just the words that are scripted for her on The Good Place.
Over the past couple of years, the TV star (and self-described feminist-in-progress) has called out everything from shady celeb diets to insane Photoshopping. (And PS…do yourself a favor and listen to her episode on comedian Nicole Byer’s podcast Why Won’t You Date Me? Two hilarious, no-BS, funny ladies at their best.)
And now, she’s blowing up Instagram, thanks to her Tell Him essay, which she read at The Makers Conference in Orange County, California, this week. In it, she argues that “so many women have the power to infiltrate misogyny from their own homes” and lists all the ways we can protect little boys from being “infiltrated by our insecure and pathetic patriarchy.”
And in the process, she may have hit on a (long-term) solution to the sex issue many hetero women whisper about with each other: porn-y techniques that are showy but, unfortunately, not effective.
“Tell him about sex. Not just reproduction, but sex: the fun, pleasurable part of it. The joy of equal pleasure and enthusiastic consent. Do not shy away from this. Do not make it an awkward topic in your house,” she says.
“Because if you push him into the shadows, he will find Pornhub in there, and that will become his teacher. And nobody needs that shit. I believe that learning about sex from porn is like learning how to drive from watching The Fast and the Furious. A fucking terrible idea.”
“I believe that learning about sex from porn is like learning how to drive from watching The Fast and the Furious.” —Jameela Jamil
Jamil says Tell Him is a call to arms for mothers, sister, and aunties—all of whom can make life (and sex) better for the next generation by bringing up boys who haven’t been thoroughly “throttled with toxic masculinity,” she says. On behalf of the future women of the world: That’s real progress.
To improve your sex life now, though, here’s what you need to know about karezza (aka hygge sex)—and tips on how to amp up pleasure by being more present.
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